somebody pinch me please!

have you ever had that dream where you’re in the bathroom peeing and then you suddenly wake up and discover that you’ve already peed on the bed?

yesterday, i fell asleep on the bus to our canlubang plant and i had a nightmare. when i woke up, i didn’t feel that relief you get when you know what you dreamt was just a nightmare because i knew what i dreamt was real.

i’m sleepwalking through a nightmare! and i desperately need to wake up! somebody pinch me please!

P.S. Don’t ask.

i’m a poetry junkie

and apparently i’m influencing my friends. actually, my sister revived my love for poetry by counting down her 70 favorite poems. she’s not done yet though. i’ve discovered new amazing poems from her and have been forwarding it to friends. now a few of them are telling me that they’re really getting into poetry too. mel told me she’s looking for a good poetry book. (mel, i’ll ask my sister then get back to you) kim has posted a few of the poems i sent her on her blog. jaybee is trying to write again. it’s amazing how one person can influence so many others. and this is all because my sister decided to count down her favorite poems. 😀

so here i go again with my favorite lines from some of my sister’s favorite poems…

Truth is: love’s hard to live with.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

my previous post contains the other line i loved from this poem. i have to admit the first time my sister posted it, i just passed through it. but then i read it again recently and i was dumbstruck. i think i was just staring into my screen soon after reading it. 🙂

Live or die, but don’t poison everything…

I say Live, Live because of the sun,
the dream, the excitable gift.
~ Live by Anne Sexton

that first line is amazingly good advice.

Let’s face it, I have been momentary.

I give you back your heart.
I give you permission—

As for me, I am watercolor.
I wash off.
~ For My Lover Returning to His Wife by Anne Sexton

uhm, no comment? joke lang. i’m not in an adulterous relationship so this technically does not pertain to me but right now i feel like watercolor.

Love is a shadow.
How you lie and cry after it.
Listen: these are its hooves: it has gone off, like a horse.
~ Elm by Sylvia Plath

gershwin and the rain: that’s what i want too!!!

That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

hmm… it seems like love and relationships are hot topics for me right now. most of the conversations i’ve been having with friends are about those topics. maybe because it’s already the end of september and Christmas is already lurking in the horizon. it’s always during Christmas when you feel the loneliest. is it because of the cold? or just the thought that it’s a holiday supposed to be spent with someone you love.

just this afternoon a friend shared with me her qualifications for a guy. and i shared mine back. although this is just an impromptu list. 🙂

there’s a fine, fine line

There’s a Fine, Fine Line
Avenue Q 

There’s a fine, fine line
between a lover, and a friend.
There’s a fine, fine line
between reality, and pretend;
And you never know ’til you reach the top
if it was worth the uphill climb.

There’s a fine, fine line
between love,
and a waste of time

There’s a fine, fine line
between a fairy tale, and a lie.
And there’s a fine, fine line
between “you’re wonderful” and “goodbye”.
I guess if someone doesn’t love you back
it isn’t such a crime

But there’s a fine, fine line
between love,
and a waste of your time

And I don’t have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don’t think that you even know what you’re looking for.
For my own sanity I’ve got to close the door
And walk away…
Oh…

There’s a fine, fine line
between together,
and not.
And there’s a fine, fine line
between what you wanted,
and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want
while you’re still in your prime.

There’s a fine, fine line
between love,
and a waste of time.

yes, this song hit home. it is true though. why enter a relationship which you know would be a waste of time? i think deep inside we all know when a relationship is for keeps or just for now. and yet we still end up forming attachments which we know wouldn’t last. and we end up hurting ourselves in the process.

meet a guy. feel that spark. get to know each other. get closer. and closer. fall-in-love. get to know him more. fall more in-love. get to know him more. fall a bit out-of-love. fight over big stuff. fall a bit more out-of-love. fight over small stuff. fall out of love. burn pictures. return gifts. drink hard. swear off men forever. meet another guy. it’s a vicious cycle.

i think what makes it harder is the fact that we all try to be someone else when we meet someone we like. we try to be the perfect person for them so that they’d fall in love right back. but then, when there already is love, suddenly you’re suprised to learn that you don’t know the other person at all.

why is it so hard to just be yourself? is it because we’re scared that if we show who we really are then the other person won’t love us back? maybe that’s it. we’re scared of rejection. who isn’t?

in a world where technology makes everything easier, even communication, how can we be sure if anyone is truly honest with us anymore?

avenue q

some friends and i watched avenue q last friday at the rcbc theater. and i was pleasantly suprised by the entire production. we were seated at the balcony, way up high, because we’re all cheap bastards who didn’t want to pay more than 500 bucks to watch the play. hehehe. at first i was thinking, oh no! we’re too high to see anything, but when the play started it was alright. looking back i still would not have spent more than what i spent to watch the thing. 😀

i didn’t listen to the libretto before watching so i really didn’t know anything of the plot or the songs. all i knew was that there would be puppets. 😉 i honestly was expecting it to be this funny and yet shallow play with puppets, but as soon as the lead puppet started singing What Do You Do With a B.A. in English? / It Sucks to Be Me i knew it wasn’t going to be shallow.

the play revolves around a group of odd characters all living in avenue q. each of them trying to find their PURPOSE in life. a fresh graduate, an american-japanese couple, a sweet grade school teacher, gary coleman (apparently a has-been child actor), a reclusive monster, and a closet gay guy and his roommate who happens to be the object of his affection.

the play tackled the questions i’m currently asking right now. and also tackled some of the social issues in the world, such as racism, homosexuality, sex and porn.

the play would’ve been a lot more fun without the direct hits it sent my way. at one point, joy even told me tish, ikaw talaga yan! referring to kate monster, the school teacher who got a bit confused after falling for her new neighbor, the fresh graduate. then there was pia who kept on tsk tsk tsk-ing when a particular song line described my current situation in life.

here are a few lines that i liked and a few that hit home…

I’m kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart.
I like romantic things like music and art.
And as you know I have a gigantic heart.
So why, don’t I have a boyfriend?
~ Kate Monster, It Sucks To Be Me

yes, i know. i keep on asking that question. pero nakakapagtaka naman talaga eh. hahaha.

A mix tape.
He made me a mix tape.
He was thinking of me,
which shows he cares!
Sometimes when someone
has a crush on you
they’ll make you a mix tape
to give you a clue.
~ Kate Monster, Mix Tape

this was especially funny coz i had just given a guy a mixed cd before the performance. remember my ticket to jail crush, well, he joined us that night. and so i made him a mixed cd of songs from beauty & the beast: of love and hope (the tv series ha) and some forbidden broadway songs. and i gave it to him in front of all my friends while we were hanging out in starbucks prior to the show. how was i supposed to know that there would be a song like that in avenue q?! i swear, if i could blush i would’ve. my friends started looking at me when that song started. buking! hehehe. pero oks lang, vocal naman ako that i admire the guy for his sense of taste given his age eh. 😛

a few of the songs were a bit too crude but still done very well, that all you can do is laugh. there even was a song which had the puppets in full nudity, making love, You Can Be as Loud as the Hell You Want (When You’re Making Love). it was kinda shocking but i was still laughing so hard the entire time. this is my favorite song of the bunch…

all in all, it was a good play. for me, still very much incomparable to the classic broadway shows such as les miserables. but it relates more to situations we face nowadays. if the play is extended, i very much recommend that you watch it. 😀