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Stray Italian Greyhound
Vienna Teng

Oh no not now
Please not now
I just settled into the glass half empty
Made myself at home
And so why now
Please not now
I just stopped believing in happy endings
Harbors of my own

But you had to come along didn’t you
Break down the doors, throw open windows
Oh if you knew just what a fool you have made me

So what do I do with this?

This stray Italian greyhound
These inconvenient fireworks
This ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought
God I just want to lay down
These colors make my eyes hurt
This feeling calls for everything that I am not

I’m not that kind
I’m so good at shooting down any notion
This tired world could change
It’s all been bought
Or at least that was my line
No use in spending all that emotion
When there’s someone else to blame

But you had to come along didn’t you
Rev up the crowd, rewrite the rule book
Where do I go when every ‘no’ turns into ‘maybe’

So what do I do with this?

This sudden burst of sunlight
And me with my umbrella
Cross-indexing every weatherman’s report
I was ready for the downslide
But not for spring to well up
This feeling calls for everything I can’t afford
To know is possible now

What do I do
With a love that won’t sit still
Won’t do what it’s told
What do I do
With a love that won’t sit still


ayn and i were able to get our mom to let us join mimay and her boyfriend mike on a roadtrip to Santa Cruz and San Francisco last weekend. we got tickets to watch Vienna Teng at the Rio Theatre in Santa Cruz, CA. mimay and ayn are big, big fans of hers. i just jumped on the chance to have a few days of freedom from visiting relatives. and mike came along to drive us around.

we had dinner at this pizza place, Tony and Alba’s, where i saw the cutest guy i’ve seen so far since coming here. he was behind the counter and i was too shy to flirt with him. i think i lost my touch with the lack of flirting and alcohol these past few weeks.

The Paper Raincoat opened for her. the band is a collaboration between Alex Wong and Amber Rubarth, both very talented artists. i have a crush on the former. you all know i’m a sucker for a guy with a beautiful voice who could play multiple musical instruments. amazing! hehehe. he also co-produced Vienna Teng’s album with her. i really wanted to have a picture with him after the show but we couldn’t find him in the crowd and we were in a rush to head back to SF already. we got a picture with Vienna Teng though after mimay fibbed a little by telling her we came from the Philippines specifically to watch her perform. hahaha!

here’s a youtube video of a cool a cappella song, “Rewind”, which The Paper Raincoat also performed in the concert we watched…

so what do you do when a friend pulls you aside and asks you what if the thing you’ve been fearing the most has possibly transpired? well, for one thing, you won’t be able to concentrate on anything else which for me at the moment is packing for my US trip. i know it’s been over a year since what happened happened but sometimes i still feel like i’m stuck in this sort of weird time warp where i just can’t seem to move on. believe me, even i can’t understand what’s wrong with me. i hate feeling this way or thinking what i’m thinking right now especially about … it’s just that my intuition has been sounding off recently and i just keep on trying to drown it out with rationalization. i seldom voice out my feelings about this topic with my friends because i hate the way it makes me feel. apparently they don’t like talking to me about it either because they know how i feel.

i’ve been experiencing a different sort of lifestyle for the past couple of weeks, hobnobbing with some of the elite people of the fashion industry. it’s been kind of a surreal experience for me so far. i’ve been out in fashion events meeting new people every time and i’ve go to say i’ve really been enjoying it. last friday night i even was able to meet them without my constant companion and key to the fashion world, nina. it’s a different community and a different world than what i’ve been used to so far but i’m surprised at how easily i’m fitting in and having fun with them. i’m glad that i’ve finally taken steps to finally walk away and stop dwelling in whatever it was that was making me feel down. there is so much life to live and i’m finally opening myself to new experiences. it truly is scary but exciting at the same time!

now i’ll be off for almost a month-long vacation in the US with my mom and sister which i’ve been looking forward to because as i’ve been joking with my friends, i know na dyosa ako dun. hehehe. i’m truly looking forward to the major ego boost that i’m going to experience when i get there. we all know that my exotic beauty is what makes heads turn when i’m in a foreign land. hopefully it’ll make me forget about certain things that i truly don’t want to be dwelling on right now. *sigh* too much thinking for one night especially when i’m supposed to be packing already. hahaha! ;P

i’m currently obsessed with…

... victoria's secret lingerie (i really want to buy some and have them shipped here)
... tumblr-ing
... hula-hooping
... learning my old piano pieces again
... expensive stuff i can't afford
... still being kissed ala north & south

That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

i love;
...ultimate frisbee;
...the melancholic sound of the cello;
...playing the piano;
...Frederic Chopin, John Williams and Michael Legrand;
...the rain;
...walking in the rain;
...hanging out with my friends;
...being a girly-girl;
...wearing dresses; naturally wavy hair;
...the sound of waves crashing in the shore; and pasta;
...raisin bread;
...Cyrano de Bergarac;;
...Artic Vodka Melon;
...Jose Cuervo Tequila; lomo cameras;
...taking pictures;
...chick flicks that make you believe that finding your one true love is not so impossible; and
...heartwrenchingly beautiful songs that say otherwise

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