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The Thing Is
Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.


a beautiful reminder that life is what it is and that we will continue to live with it’s ups and downs and sudden twists and turns. 🙂

…not that i’ve gone anywhere really. it’s just that i haven’t been in the mood to write since the beginning of the year. and it isn’t that i haven’t had anything to write about because there’ve been some weird stuff going on around me.  i just didn’t feel like writing. call it writer’s block if you want. all i know is i’m back and i’m here to stay. 😉

first things first… yes, i’m still alive and i’m doing well. a few of you have voiced out your concerns over my disturbing post. i’ve learned to accept the fact that depression is a part of my life and that moments like that are unavoidable. but i’ve got the bestest(!) friends who i know will be there for me each time. 🙂

you must be wondering what’s been taking up my time so much that i haven’t been able to update at all. well, our house helper decided to leave us because of some back pains she’s been experiencing. so i’ve taken over the household duties of doing the laundry and ironing which i normally do on monday, wednesday or friday nights. i’ve started ultimate training again, which means my tuesday and thursday nights are now dedicated to sweating my butt off trying to improve my ultimate skills. i spent the first two weekends of the year out of town. the first weekend in pansol, the second in La Union where i tried out surfing for the first time. 🙂

see, things have been pretty hectic for me this past few weeks. and it’s just the start of the year. there’s so much to look forward to this year… an almost 4-week trip to the US in april, my 3rd boracay open in march, an entire year of ultimate frisbee, hopefully more impromptu beach trips and hopefully *crossing my fingers* an exciting love life. hahaha! 😛

speaking of my uber exciting love life, according to, i’ll be getting some action during June to August. just check out my chart:

sana June na… hahaha! 😛

anyway, i’ll be leaving for ultimate training in a few minutes. i’ll catch up with you again tomorrow! :*

i’m currently obsessed with…

... victoria's secret lingerie (i really want to buy some and have them shipped here)
... tumblr-ing
... hula-hooping
... learning my old piano pieces again
... expensive stuff i can't afford
... still being kissed ala north & south

That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

i love;
...ultimate frisbee;
...the melancholic sound of the cello;
...playing the piano;
...Frederic Chopin, John Williams and Michael Legrand;
...the rain;
...walking in the rain;
...hanging out with my friends;
...being a girly-girl;
...wearing dresses; naturally wavy hair;
...the sound of waves crashing in the shore; and pasta;
...raisin bread;
...Cyrano de Bergarac;;
...Artic Vodka Melon;
...Jose Cuervo Tequila; lomo cameras;
...taking pictures;
...chick flicks that make you believe that finding your one true love is not so impossible; and
...heartwrenchingly beautiful songs that say otherwise

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