please ignore my last post

so OBVIOUSLY, i’m not over yet. that’s that.

moving on…

i watched the twilight movie yesterday with my mom and my sister and i liked it. okay, so it’s not Oscar material but well, I wasn’t expecting it to be Oscar material in the first place. i came into the movie house with low expectations because of all the bad reviews i was reading and hearing from friends. there are quite a few things i didn’t like:

• bad makeup. i know that the cullens are the walking undead but why must their skin look so pasty white?
• the lack of background music. there was a part in the middle where edward and bella were getting to know each other where there was no music whatsoever. it felt as though something was decidedly lacking from the scenes.
• the panning in the scene where she tells edward that she knows he’s a vampire. it just seemed rather wrong.
• some scenes from the book that were changed in the movie. i really liked the scene from the book where Edward blocks Bella’s car so that Tyler could ask her out to the prom but they didn’t include that in the movie. oh well…

i’m a bit 50-50 on the acting. they had good chemistry together. Kristen Stewart is really really pretty!!! i love her hair in the movie especially during the bedroom makeout scene. Rob Pattinson had his handsome angles although he’s really not my type and his makeup was a bit distracting. i think his brooding, tortured portrayal of Edward Cullen still needs improvement but he did a pretty good job. i think they both did a good job. kinilig nga ako eh. 😛

i think the biggest complaint is how different the movie is from the book. i kept on recalling scenes from the book and thinking hmm… that’s not how it happened in the book. i think the main problem when a book is turned into a movie is the fact that the way we imagined how things happened in the book may be different from a screenwriter or director’s vision of it. the imagination is such a powerful tool that book-movie adaptations tend to fall short of how we envisioned it to be. 

i’m glad they’re making another movie. hopefully the next one will have a better makeup coordinator. hahaha! my sister told me that this first film was low budget despite all the hype that was attached to it. now that it’s made a killing in the box office, i hope they get more money to make the second movie a lot better. to think there’s supposed to be scenes filmed in italy!!! hahaha. it’s no secret that New Moon is my favorite book of the series. it was probably the most boring because of the way it started but Stephanie Meyer did a good job in writing about Bella’s heartbreak. perhaps a bit too emo, but still it was good. i may not be a super fangirl but i am already eagerly anticipating the next movie. hahaha!

‘coz it’s better that i’m writing how i feel here rather than drunk dialing you…

i can’t believe i’m still not over you after all this time. this keeps happening… i think i’m fine and then i see you and suddenly it’s as if a part of me is still hoping for that fairytale ending… that you’ll look at me and finally realize that you’re in-love with me too. but you’re not in-love with me and you’ll probably never be and i’m stupid to even imagine a different ending for this. ugh. i hate this. i hate feeling so helpless in controlling the way i feel about you. i wish there was a switch where i could just turn off my feelings for you and leave it off instead of it popping up at the most inopportune times. it’s been more than a year since we’ve called things off and it’s still hard being around you because we hang out in the same circle of friends. dammit, i want to get over you so badly. i know… i know… nothing could come out of the way i feel about you. you don’t have the capacity to feel the same way about it. but here i am… still hoping and waiting that you’ll look at me and finally, FINALLY, see me. this really hurts. i miss you and the friendship we once had. i’m so scared that we’ll never be the way we once were and that i’ve lost you as a friend (and lover) forever. i have to move on. i really have to.

okay, so i’m drunk and i’m sleepy and i miss you and i hate this feeling so i’ll just put it to rest for tonight. hopefully in the harsh light of day i’ll realize that this is useless and go back to existing without even thinking about this pain. damn. this is hard.

From A Journal by Louise Gluck

I had a lover once, I had a lover twice, easily three times I loved. And in between my heart reconstructed itself perfectly like a worm. And my dreams also reconstructed themselves.

After a time, I realized I was living a completely idiotic life. Idiotic, wasted. And sometime later, you and I began to correspond, inventing an entirely new form.

Deep intimacy over great distance! Keats to Fanny Brawne, Dante to Beatrice.

One cannot invent a new form in an old character. The letters I sent remained immaculately ironic, aloof yet forthright. Meanwhile, I was writing different letters in my head, some of which became poems.

So much genuine feeling! So many fierce declarations of passionate longing!

I loved once, I loved twice, and suddenly the form collapsed: I was unable to sustain ignorance.

How sad to have lost you, to have lost any chance of actually knowing you or remembering you over time as a real person, as someone I could have grown deeply attached to, maybe the brother I never had.

And how sad to think of dying before finding out anything. And to realize how ignorant we all are most of the time, seeing-things only from the one vantage, like a sniper.

And there were so many things I never got to tell you about myself, things which might have swayed you. And the photo I never sent, taken the night I looked almost splendid.

I wanted you to fall in love. But the arrow kept hitting the mirror and coming back. And the letters kept dividing themselves with neither half totally true.

And sadly, you never figured out any of this, though you always wrote back so promptly, always the same elusive letter.

I loved once, I loved twice, and even though in our case things never got off the ground it was a good thing to have tried. And I still have the letters of course. Sometimes I will take a few years’ worth to reread in the garden, with a glass of iced tea.

And I feel, sometimes, part of something very great, wholly profound and sweeping.

I loved once, I loved twice, easily three times I loved.

from The American Poetry Review Jan/Feb 2001

~

so beautiful. ❤

justin timberlake is so funny here!

thanks mel for posting the video on multiply! winner si justin timberlake!!! hahaha.

i’m interrupting my normal kikay posts for something not so kikay

i’d been wanting to buy myself a personal laptop for quite a while now. my 13th month arrived this week so i traipsed off to the mall to make the purchase. oh, i’d been thinking on what to get for as long as i’ve wanted to buy a laptop. i’d been scanning the forums, reading specs and debates on which brand and model i should get. the final decision came down to two brands: a sony vaio or an apple macbook. i was actually leaning towards the vaio because i could buy it in pink!!! hahaha. no joke, getting a laptop in a cute color was one of my main concerns. i’d check specs and then i’d look at the pictures and my heart would leap at how cute the pink vaio was. my sister and some friends finally convinced me to buy a macbook.

so it was set. i was getting a macbook. then i had to deal with a new problem. the “old” macbook white vs. the “new” aluminum macbook. haay… i didn’t understand half of the specs i was reading so i actually couldn’t have cared less. but when i checked the forums i saw that the “new” aluminum macbook did not have a firewire. i don’t take videos much or anything but i realized that i’d still like to have that feature just in case. so i decided on the “old” macbook white. =)

it wasn’t so easy making the purchase though. when i got to the mall, i checked out the vaio one more time then headed to the powermac store. when i got there i kept on pacing the store looking at the different mac models then checking the prices again. then another thought entered my mind, maybe i should get a desktop instead of a laptop. argh! it bothered me so much that i decided to sleep on it one more night. the next day, i once again browsed through forums and debates and decided that i wanted the portability of a laptop more then i needed the pixel size of a big monitor.

i finally went through with the purchase on wednesday. so now i’m the proud mommy of a 250GB, 2.1Ghz Macbook White! please don’t ask me about the rest of the specs, i’m horribly bad at stuff like that. when i got home i tried immediately to connect to the net using our wireless system here at home. unfortunately i couldn’t get through so i just accessed it directly through the modem. i tried accessing the wireless again when i got home last night and still encountered problems. it had me worried so i started immediately on researching what could be wrong. apparently there is a common problem with the macbook and linksys router connection. i tried following instructions on how to configure the linksys router but failed miserably. i decided to call it a night and just went to sleep.

at the office today, i researched all i could regarding troubleshooting the macbook-linksys router problem. i’ve been to countless forums and read a lot of work-arounds to the problem. given how common this problem it, it surprised me that it was so hard to find a published solution. so here’s my attempt in helping other mac users who’ll encounter this same problem. this wouldn’t be so technical. it’ll just be the step-by-step guide with the proper links to some how-to’s i found very helpful.

How to configure a Linksys router for a Macbook

Macbook specs: Mac OS X Version 10.5.4
Linksys: WRT54G Version 7.0

1. Reset Linksys router. Don’t know how? Click here.

2. Set-Up Linksys router depending on internet service: Cable or DSL. All you have to do is follow the instructions. It’s pretty straight-forward.

3. Set-Up Wireless Setting. Click here. When choosing the Wireless Channel, choose 11.

4. Set-Up Wireless Security. Click here. It’s up to you if you want your wireless connection to be secure or unsecure. I chose to disable the security settings. It’ll be less of a hassle making the wireless connection public because I wouldn’t have to keep providing friends with the password when they hang out here.

5. Try it out! You’re wireless connection should be working perfectly now.

There are a lot of other solutions posted over the internet. There’s one which says that the firmware version should be downgraded to 1.00.9 (i think). Another says that a $ should be placed before the WEP password. Another says that the wireless security should be set to WAP2 and that MAC filtering should be enabled. I haven’t tried any of these methods yet because the above one worked for me. I hope it sticks though or else I’d have to do some troubleshooting again. =)