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Antilamentation
by Dorianne Laux

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

~

i’m posting this poem in memory of the drunken mess that i was last saturday night/sunday morning. argh, a part of me wants to swear never to drink again but i know that i’ll never be able to follow up on that so i guess i’ll just have to keep banging my head on a wall in order to escape memories of how embarrassing i must’ve looked that night. i’m pre-empting myself though. i’ll post the full story tomorrow when i post my weekend update. 😉 i just wanted to remind myself today that regret is useless at this point. hahaha!

i’m currently obsessed with…

... victoria's secret lingerie (i really want to buy some and have them shipped here)
... tumblr-ing
... hula-hooping
... learning my old piano pieces again
... expensive stuff i can't afford
... still being kissed ala north & south

That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

i love

...broadway;
...poetry;
...ultimate frisbee;
...dancing;
...singing;
...the melancholic sound of the cello;
...playing the piano;
...Frederic Chopin, John Williams and Michael Legrand;
...the rain;
...walking in the rain;
...laughing;
...hanging out with my friends;
...being a girly-girl;
...wearing dresses;
...my naturally wavy hair;
...the sound of waves crashing in the shore;
...pizza and pasta;
...burgers;
...raisin bread;
...blogging;
...reading;
...Cyrano de Bergarac;
...shopping;
...Artic Vodka Melon;
...Jose Cuervo Tequila;
...my lomo cameras;
...taking pictures;
...puzzles;
...sudoku;
...chick flicks that make you believe that finding your one true love is not so impossible; and
...heartwrenchingly beautiful songs that say otherwise

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i lurve flickr

tikayiyay. Get yours at bighugelabs.com/flickr