You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2009.

c’mon, i’m sure you know what this game is all about but for those non-alcoholics out there, here’s how it’s played…

i never

i’ve played this game only twice, not really wanting to reveal anything to people i don’t feel comfortable sharing these type of information with. plus it can get pretty uncomfortable when you’ve hooked up with another person that’s part of the circle and you don’t want the rest of them to know about it. i’m still pretty pissed about him trying to get me to drink to one of the statements which we both know i should’ve drank to but didn’t.

there are two ways you tend to feel after playing this game: either that you are prude or that you are a slut, both of which are entirely subjective. there’s nothing wrong in feeling either emotion too. it’s pretty interesting how sex has evolved from being a somewhat taboo topic to being the main theme of some movies, tv shows (Sex and the City!) and advertisements. we are surrounded by sexual innuendos… an Axe deodorant commercial where a woman bites off the ass of a chocolate covered man and billboards of hot celebrities modelling underwear. sex is everywhere nowadays!

the Philippines is currently being taken by storm by the Hayden Kho scandals. videos of a local doctor who has a fetish for videotapping himself while having sex have been leaked on the internet. it doesn’t help that his victims are starlets, models and mainstays in gossip columns. what’s really funny though is how everyone’s making a big deal out of it. the case is in the senate for crying out loud! why our government deems it necessary to intercede in such a menial issue is beyond me. in my opinion, there are far more important issues that the government should be paying attention to.  i think they’ve sensationalized this issue because the Philippines is supposedly a “conservative” country. yeah, right! there’s nothing “conservative” about teenagers getting pregnant, streetwalkers along Makati Avenue or Quezon City, and our ever-booming nightlife scene whose ingredients can include booze, drugs and sex. we even have our own craigslist, ya know?! i’m sure we would all like to portray our country, which is known to be a Christian country, as pure but it really isn’t anymore. what’s more irking are how self-righteous some people are, condemning and judging Katrina for the video. remember the story of the adulterous woman from the Bible? when Jesus was asked what her punishment should be, he says, “Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7) okay, so i totally googled that one up! 😛

sooo… this post suddenly became a rant on the Kho-Halili scandal which wasn’t really my intention but i couldn’t help it. haha! i guess what i’m trying to say is that what happens between a man and a woman behind closed doors is their business, whether they have a sextape or not. we’ve come a long way from Ladies being told to lie down and think of England during the sexual act. there is nothing wrong in exploring or enjoying everything there is out there. and, mind you, there is quite a lot to explore! so go and kiss someone of the same sex (something i don’t think i’ll ever do. :P), makeout with a stranger at a party, maybe even have a one-night stand… just don’t expect to be sober or functional after playing “i never” though. hahahaha!

yes, i’ve definitely been here before. it’s feels like i’ve been traveling on this road for quite a while only to find myself back where i started. and i wonder, will i always feel this strange every time he shows interest in another girl? New Order said it best in their song, Bizarre Love Triangle: every time i see you falling, i get down on my knees and pray. to be completely honest, this time around i don’t feel all that bad anymore. maybe time has performed enough of it’s magic to mend my wounds. perhaps i’ve imagined this situation so many times in my mind that it’s easier to accept it now. or maybe, just maybe, i’ve finally moved on.

on top of that issue, i have to deal with another guy from my past who doesn’t seem to be sure what he wants of me yet. or maybe i’m the one with the problem reading his actions. i’ve never been good with the mixed signals and the half-assed attempts of asking me out. my close friends who know about this tell me that it’s not worth it and sometimes i don’t think it is too. but then, we never really know do we?

life can be completely random sometimes. and yet we find our lives so delicately intertwined with each other. it’s particularly funny to find out that one of your new friends is dating one of the guys you or your friend was dating. despite the billions of people here on this earth, we keep discovering that it’s a small world after all.

*lyrics from After All by Peter Cetera

“We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real—but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

~ Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live

so, i’m back from the US. i arrived home on the 4th of may but had to stay home for a couple of days to nurse a bad cold (which wasn’t the swine flu!!!). my internal body clock was a bit cuckoo for the first week. i kept waking up at 5am despite sleeping at the latest 1am. this means, i started showing up at work at 830am which i haven’t done in quite a while. the rest of my first week back was pretty eventless since i had to be home early because my mom was still here. yep, i’m a good girl when my mom’s here. ;P

summer league

i showed up for the 3rd week of summer league (my first week) really scared and anxious. you would be too if you’ve been MIA from training for a month. to say that i am out of shape is an understatement! my heart was beating so fast that i even held off on drinking my extra joss till the 3rd game of the day. it didn’t help that i’m playing with T1 again for this league which means running after faster girls. our first game was against sexual chocolate which we won by a universal point. yeah, it was a real nail-biting experience since i was in that last point praying that the girl i was marking would not sprint to their endzone on a turnover. i was slow and i seemed to have forgotten some of the basics like faking and pivoting properly. oops! in our 2nd game, we were down to 4 girls in our lineup but at least that game ended quickly and without any mishaps. as is usual, i don’t eat between games because it’s hard to run on a full or semi-full stomach. by our 3rd game, i was pooped! i could barely run anymore and i felt like i’d blackout in any second. the weather didn’t help because it was hot as hell! we survived that too though, playing 5-2 on offense when necessary. needless to say, when i woke up on monday morning i felt sore all over. i really have to build my endurance back up again and brush up on my field fundamentals. i’m glad to be back playing though. i love ultimate! 😉

oh really now?

it’s quite a suprise that the comments i’ve gotten since i’ve been back is that i’ve lost weight. one girl even told me, “aren’t you supposed to gain weight when you go to the US?” apparently, it was the opposite for me. honestly, i feel like i’ve gained weight given all of the junk we ate over there but who am i to reject such ego-boosting compliments. haha!

epic FAIL!

most of you know that i was planning to buy a DSLR kit in the US. i actually did buy a Nikon D40 with 18-55mm and 55-200mm VR lens kit BUT it didn’t arrive in time. *sigh* it wasn’t my fault though. i ordered it on time, paid for it on time, confirmed the shipping address on time BUT they didn’t ship it on time. the reason i really wanted to buy the camera there was that the 2 lens kit was such a steal. now, i’m back to debating whether i really want a DSLR or whether a really good point & shoot will do in the meantime. you see, the 2 lens kit for the Nikon D40 is not available here. i’ll have to buy the Nikon D40 kit and add an extra minimum Php10K for the 55-200mm lens. not to mention, i want to buy a Lensbaby composer too, which is another Php13K! gastos noh? i was thinking that maybe i really do not need all of that equipment since i really just enjoy the lomography way of shooting. so now i’m seriously considering just getting a Panasonic Lumix LX3. i’m still waiting for the money i paid for the Nikon D40 to be credited back to my account before i’ll be able to buy anything though so i’m taking my sweet time in deciding again. any suggestions?

speaking of lomography

the newest addition to my film camera collection, a russian cyrillic Lomo LC-A, got fixed just in time for my trip to the US so i got to take lots of pictures with it. it is ♥♥♥♥♥!!!
lca love

however, my favorite lomo pic from my trip was taken using my holga 120gn…

this was taken in the santa cruz beach where we stopped by before watching vienna teng perform. i wanted a picture of the seagulls flying so i kept approaching them and saying, “fly! fly!” i was able to take i think 3 shots in one frame before realizing that i was using ISO 200 film and that i might overexpose it. i love the finished product! the fun thing about lomography and film photography is that sometimes you never know how a pic will turn out until you have it developed. there are no second, third of fourth takes. just that one!

there can be only one…


my top two prediction has come true and we’ll be having an Adam-Kris showdown next week. i secretly wanted an Adam-Allison showdown because that girl can sing! but well, she didn’t have a big enough fanbase. i really think Adam will win. he is truly blessed with amazing vocals. Kris is good too and he’s not as flambuoyant as Adam is sometimes. i love his cover of Kanye West’s Heartless. galing! anyway, i’m sure everyone will be in front of their tv’s next week as this is sure to be one exciting final.

labandera na naman

we still don’t have a helper so i’ve officially resumed my lifelong dream to be a maid once again. i already did a batch of laundry last night which i’ll probably be ironing come saturday. oh well, life’s like that! i’m glad to be back though! the Philippines may be a third world country but it is my home and well, there’s no place like home, right? 😉

Serena: Why did you do that?
Chuck: Because i love her and i can’t make her happy.

okay, so that’s not quoted verbatim but it’s pretty close i think.

argh!!! wtf bass!!! go fight for her, you idiot!!!

well, at least gossip girl is getting to be intriguing again. welcome back G! hopefully, you can spice things up again. i find serena, dan and nate boring. the chuck-blair tandem is really what’s keeping me in anticipation of the next episode week after week.

i can’t wait for the episode where the following pic takes place!

oh, to have a love life of my own so as i won’t fixate over some fictional characters on tv… *sigh* hehe. ;P

i’m currently obsessed with…

... victoria's secret lingerie (i really want to buy some and have them shipped here)
... tumblr-ing
... hula-hooping
... learning my old piano pieces again
... expensive stuff i can't afford
... still being kissed ala north & south

That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

i love;
...ultimate frisbee;
...the melancholic sound of the cello;
...playing the piano;
...Frederic Chopin, John Williams and Michael Legrand;
...the rain;
...walking in the rain;
...hanging out with my friends;
...being a girly-girl;
...wearing dresses; naturally wavy hair;
...the sound of waves crashing in the shore; and pasta;
...raisin bread;
...Cyrano de Bergarac;;
...Artic Vodka Melon;
...Jose Cuervo Tequila; lomo cameras;
...taking pictures;
...chick flicks that make you believe that finding your one true love is not so impossible; and
...heartwrenchingly beautiful songs that say otherwise

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