You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2008.

  • why does it seem that i spend more money shopping for a trip rather than shopping during a trip? hahaha! i bought new flats, a new camera bag (yes, coz the one i currently have is too small to fit all my camera equipment), new toiletries, a new kikay bag, and new shirts. dammit, i won’t be able to do much shopping there anymore because i’m poor already. 😦
  • i just realized this is the first “real” vacation i’m having this year. by “real”, i mean that i won’t be bringing my work laptop with me. haaay… i think i’ll be suffering from withdrawal from this laptop… NOT!!! hahaha. i’m so happy i won’t be lugging this thing all the way to singapore.
  • i don’t have a decent itinerary planned for this trip. too little planning time. oh well… i guess, we’ll be able to find some interesting stuff to do while we’re there.
  • i kinda, sorta wanted to play ultimate in singapore but i’m glad i won’t be.
  • i hope i get to meet some cute guys there. here’s to hoping right?! 😛
  • i’m excited to take lots of pictures. i’ve been in quite a photo slump recently with the lack of stuff to take pics of. hopefully i’ll get to practice my rangefinder skills here. hahaha! 🙂
  • i brought tons of film with me but i plan to look for film there. i hope it’s cheap so i can buy a lot and bring them home here. hahaha!

i can’t think of anything else to put here and i probably should get dressed and leave na. i’ll be back next week hopefully with some really juicy stuff to share. 😉 hahaha!

it kinda remind you of paris je t’aime, right? it’s the second of what will seem to be a string of movies about certain cities. cool noh? 😉

which reminds me, i should start making a list of movies i wanna buy on dbd dbd.

i went to church again today and it’s been about 8 months since the last time i went to church. but before i continue this entry, i should give you a brief history on religious background. you see, my dad is a pastor. i spent most of my younger years memorizing verses from the bible, practising hymns on the piano and reading religious tracts. my family used to pass time in the car by playing memory verse contests. during a blackout, we would congregate around the piano and sing hymns till the lights went back on. one of my favorite board games back then is actually Bible Trivia. suprising right? especially if you know the me i am today, you’d be shocked to learn that this is how i grew up.

you’re probably wondering now on what happened to precipitate the change from the old me to the new me. i’m not really sure actually. i guess things started changing when i entered high school. i saw a different aspect of life from what i was already experiencing. i was introduced to MTV, pop music, blockbuster movies, fashion, etc. in other words, i was introduced to the “material world.” and weak as i was, i gave in to the fun and pleasure it promised. oh, it started out with minor stuff like preferring to be with my friends rather than going to church on sundays or enjoying pop music or than religious hymns. my parents tried so hard to keep me and my sister in the straight path like banning us from watching MTV or setting the rule that we weren’t allowed to watch tv or listen to pop music from 6pm saturday to 6pm sunday. we never complained or disobeyed because we always respected their right as our parents.

things became different when i got into college though. despite our sheltered childhood, my parents have always planned for me and my sister to go to college in UP Diliman. so off i went, on my own, to college where i discovered partying and alcohol. plus my body went through drastic changes and from the super slim girl i was in high school, i suddenly became curvy. in other words, my boobs got bigger. hahaha! during my first two years in college, i still attended church. i even went to church camp during one holy week. but as i started to enjoy the hanging out, malling and partying with my friends more and more, the less i was inclined to reading the bible, praying and going to church.

which i guess, leads me to where i am now… a semi-alcoholic, sometimes foul-mouthed, tattoo-loving, cleavage-baring, shopaholic, party girl. oh, i don’t think i’m so bad. i actually think i’m a nice girl. i don’t purposefully hurt anyone or make enemies and i still live by a virtue that my dad has taught me long ago, yield, which is to give way to the other person. i think if my parents were different i’d be considered a very good daughter, it’s just that i’m so far away from the ideal daughter of a pastor. despite all my accomplishments, i think my dad and mom are a bit disappointed with how i’ve been straying from the path they’ve raised me to take.

it’s not that i don’t feel the urge to be a practising Christian again. it enters my mind quite a lot actually. but you see, i already know the sacrifice it would take for me to go on the right path again and honestly, i’m not ready to give up all the things i’m enjoying right now. it’s sad but it’s true. i’m having too much fun, with the partying, the drinking, the swearing, the wearing cute clothes and all. i’m not saying someday i may be ready to give it all up because i may never be ready and it scares me because i do believe in God and in Jesus and in eternal life. but the way i’ve been living my life recently is pointing to the direction where i wouldn’t want to be spending my eternal life.

it’s during days like this, when i go to church, that i feel the pull strongly. everytime my dad or mom sermons us, i also feel the pull. i know a part of me still wants to be that person i was raised to be… a regular church-goer, a practising Christian, perhaps even a member of the Church choir or a missionary. truth is, sometimes i envy other pastor’s kids who’ve never been introduced to the pleasures the world has. for them, the choice is easy, it’s simple. they don’t feel the seduction of the world anymore because they’re happy with the only world they’ve known. i, on the other hand, have to choose between two very different worlds and i know there can be no compromise. it’s one or the other. why can’t there be a compromise, you ask? well, i don’t want to be a hypocrite. i don’t want to say that i’m a Christian yet do all the things a Christian isn’t supposed to do.

can you feel my confusion? i hope it doesn’t take a hard chastisement from God to bring me back to my knees. perhaps someday, i will become a good Christian again. i really pray that i do.

Song for Someone
Glen Hansard

Dryin’ up in conversation, still
My head was halfway round the world
And workin’ through the sleepin’ hours
Driven by the promise of a quick return
And I wonder if she’ll be the very same
And I wonder if she’s gonna break the waves

Tryin’ just to focus on the good
I’m tired of divin’ for the pearls
And every dawn is another morning less
I have to wait to wake beside that girl
And I hope she’s gonna be the very same
And I hope she can survive this wave again

And if we’re all for someone
And if we’re born for someone
When will she come, that someone?
And put things in their place

Comin’ back to see you girl,
You know there’s nothing surer in this world
Remember all the madden seasons
Back when we weren’t old enough to wait our turn
And I hope we’re gonna be the very same
And I hope we can survive this wave again

And if we’re all for someone
And if we’re born for someone
When will she come, that someone?
And put things in their place

another beautiful song about that “special someone” we all seem to be waiting/looking for. i love songs like this maybe because i haven’t found HIM yet and i’m anxiously awaiting the moment that i do find the love of my life. by the way, this is the guy from Once, in my opinion one of the sweetest independent films to come out in a while. it won the oscar for best original song, Falling Slowly

Falling Slowly
Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

I don’t know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can’t react
And games that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You’ve made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I’m painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It’s time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I’ll sing along

yeah i know, i know, this is a mid-week update already. well, i’ve been too busy and lazy to update last week properly. let me now recount the whirlwind this past few days have been for me…

friday, 2008.08.15: pre-finals day preparation

after work, joy, rissa and i went shopping in glorietta for last minute stuff we needed for the league-end party. pia and i spent the night at joy and connie’s new condo. we stayed up till 2am watching episodes of how i met your mother on pia’s laptop.

saturday, 2008.08.16: monsoon league finals day

the day of firsts…

the first time i wore soccer shorts…

eww… it really just isn’t me but since it’s part of the uniform, i’ll be wearing it from now on. 😦

the first time it rained so hard mid-day that most of the games were cancelled…

except for the top 4 seeds which we were part of. we played SP01 first and… 

the first time Chowking TODA beat SP01…

which lead to…

wanna know what happens next?

i’m currently obsessed with…

... victoria's secret lingerie (i really want to buy some and have them shipped here)
... tumblr-ing
... hula-hooping
... learning my old piano pieces again
... expensive stuff i can't afford
... still being kissed ala north & south

That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin.
~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark

i love;
...ultimate frisbee;
...the melancholic sound of the cello;
...playing the piano;
...Frederic Chopin, John Williams and Michael Legrand;
...the rain;
...walking in the rain;
...hanging out with my friends;
...being a girly-girl;
...wearing dresses; naturally wavy hair;
...the sound of waves crashing in the shore; and pasta;
...raisin bread;
...Cyrano de Bergarac;;
...Artic Vodka Melon;
...Jose Cuervo Tequila; lomo cameras;
...taking pictures;
...chick flicks that make you believe that finding your one true love is not so impossible; and
...heartwrenchingly beautiful songs that say otherwise

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