so what do you do when a friend pulls you aside and asks you what if the thing you’ve been fearing the most has possibly transpired? well, for one thing, you won’t be able to concentrate on anything else which for me at the moment is packing for my US trip. i know it’s been over a year since what happened happened but sometimes i still feel like i’m stuck in this sort of weird time warp where i just can’t seem to move on. believe me, even i can’t understand what’s wrong with me. i hate feeling this way or thinking what i’m thinking right now especially about … it’s just that my intuition has been sounding off recently and i just keep on trying to drown it out with rationalization. i seldom voice out my feelings about this topic with my friends because i hate the way it makes me feel. apparently they don’t like talking to me about it either because they know how i feel.

i’ve been experiencing a different sort of lifestyle for the past couple of weeks, hobnobbing with some of the elite people of the fashion industry. it’s been kind of a surreal experience for me so far. i’ve been out in fashion events meeting new people every time and i’ve go to say i’ve really been enjoying it. last friday night i even was able to meet them without my constant companion and key to the fashion world, nina. it’s a different community and a different world than what i’ve been used to so far but i’m surprised at how easily i’m fitting in and having fun with them. i’m glad that i’ve finally taken steps to finally walk away and stop dwelling in whatever it was that was making me feel down. there is so much life to live and i’m finally opening myself to new experiences. it truly is scary but exciting at the same time!

now i’ll be off for almost a month-long vacation in the US with my mom and sister which i’ve been looking forward to because as i’ve been joking with my friends, i know na dyosa ako dun. hehehe. i’m truly looking forward to the major ego boost that i’m going to experience when i get there. we all know that my exotic beauty is what makes heads turn when i’m in a foreign land. hopefully it’ll make me forget about certain things that i truly don’t want to be dwelling on right now. *sigh* too much thinking for one night especially when i’m supposed to be packing already. hahaha! ;P