it’s 4am and i haven’t slept yet. it’s my fault, really. i don’t want to sleep because i’m scared i’ll miss my 8am flight to cagayan de oro. so here i am surfing the internet and the tv. i realize that i haven’t been updating this blog anymore. so here’s a pathetic, last-minute attempt to update you with the latest, juiciest stuff that’s been happening to me.
life has been pretty monotonous as of late. work has been hectic to say the least. and i haven’t been able to attend ultimate training because i keep having to stay a bit later than normal in the office. the stress level is still something i can handle but i feel myself getting fatter everyday. on happier news, my hula-hoop arrived already so i have an alternative method of exercise already. i’m already pretty good with waist hooping and i’m getting the hang of hip hooping already. it’s pretty exciting actually and i really want to learn as many moves as i can. at least i still have some semblance of physical activity.
my mind, on the other hand, gets the all the exercise it could get. every wednesday, i join a group of friends at Panama Jack for Quizzo Nights. it’s so much fun! so far i’ve realized that i suck at geography questions and current events and that i’m pretty good with hollywood showbiz questions. it’s actually a pretty good way to unwind after a stressful day at work. so grab a bunch of your friends and join us at Panama Jack on wednesdays!
another thing that has got me excited is the fact that the US fall tv season is upon us. all my favorite shows are back and i am psyched about them all. but the one that’s got me hooked is Glee! it had me at Love, Look Away and it’s got me ever since. Glee is my definition of tv heaven: broadway songs, cute song&dance numbers and hot guys who could sing. *sigh* if only we could just all break into song when we feel like it without looking like total psychos. hahahaha! anyway, here’s the Gold Digger cover from the show. it’s not the actual clip but just the audio. youtube has been pretty strict with their videos lately. oh well…
wow, that took longer than expected. now, i’m late. i’m off to iligan for some ultimate, river-tubing, caving/rappelling and just chilling with a bunch of my friends. ahhh… despite everything, life is still good.
it’s been a pretty gloomy weekend. i think it’s been raining nonstop since saturday… the perfect weather for staying in and watching chick flicks which unsuprisingly is what i ended up doing this past weekend. throughout the past couple of months, nina and i have been slowly going through my personal chick flick collection. on days where we don’t feel like going out clubbing we normally end up staying in and watching a chick flick or two. i’ve actually been spending a lot of time with nina recently, be it clubbing, hanging out at my house watching dvds or grabbing a bite to eat after work. i swear if we weren’t both such girly-girls and really into men we could already been considered a couple.
here are a few movies we’ve watched together already…
i don’t think we’re even halfway through my collection yet though. there still are a lot left with my favorite romantic movie scenes and other personal movie favorites like Cutting Edge, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Ever After and many more. (if you’re wondering what all the links are for, they’re imdb links in case you’re interested to know the stories of each.)
after a significant amount of junk food and coca-cola consumed, a few tissues disgarded and somewhere in between julia roberts and hugh grant’s famous scene, i had to hit nina with a throw pillow to say, “we shouldn’t be watching stuff like this anymore!!!”
*sigh*
we’ve actually got some pretty good theories off some of these movies like it could take just 10 days to fall in love with someone (How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days) or that sometimes you can get engaged to a rich, handsome guy even if you’re chubby and just gave birth to a baby fathered by a drug-addict (Mrs. Winterbourne). yes, chick flicks are realistic, dontchathink? hahaha! we’ve actually had some pretty funny conversations where we convince ourselves that time is not an enemy for us anymore. ask my sister, she’s been privy to some of our really deep, intense ones.
chick flicks are very much like fairy tales. they make us believe in happily-ever-afters, a concept which is intangible and really hard to grasp. don’t get me wrong, i believe in happily-ever-afters. after all, i am a product of my mom and dad’s very own happily-ever-after. more and more of my friends are finding their own happily-ever-afters and are getting married (much to my dismay, only because i’m not one of them yet). i guess it’s just kinda impossible to believe since i haven’t found my own yet.
chick flicks can be deceiving. where are all these wonderful, perfect men in real life? do they really exist or do they just exist in movies and fairy tales? if they do exist in real life, where are they? can someone point me in their general direction? even Hugh Jackman’s character in Someone Like You ended up to be such a gem after being an asshole in the beginning…
Eddie: It’s over. Why can’t you just let it go?
Jane: I can’t.
Eddie: Why?
Jane: Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don’t leave all women, Eddie, they leave me.
Eddie: I know it hurts. I know. It’s so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again.
*tear*
not all chick flicks have happy endings though. The Way We Were, Closer and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind are just a few examples of those brutally true movies that just hit straight to the heart. and i love each one of them just as much as all the others. i ended up sharing The Way We Were last weekend with nina and she loved it. i haven’t watched it in a while so i ended up crying along with her. of course immediately after that, we ended up watching a happier movie. we really didn’t want our optimism to be overshadowed by brutal reality.
perhaps there’s nothing so wrong with wanting to be in-love in a movie. it worked for Meg Ryan, didn’t it? ;P
i can hardly believe it. i’ve finally gotten to that age, where a bunch of your friends are getting serious with their lives and settling down by getting married and having kids. my emotions are a mixture of envy and wonder. you see, i still feel so new at being an adult like i’m still a kid playing house making decisions that are way bigger than me. so while i am a hopeless romantic, it still is a constant wonder for someone my age to decide to spend the rest of their life with another person. to be honest, i’ve always imagined myself engaged at my age then married by around 27. but now that i’m actually living the “adult” life, i realize goals are a bit harder than what they seemed to be when i was still young and idealistic. finding your perfect match/soulmate/one true love isn’t as easy as it seems in fairy tales and chick flicks. don’t get me wrong, i believe all of my friends who are getting married or are already married are truly in-love. therein lies my envy. i keep wondering when love will deign to grant me an audience but in the meantime i’m truly content seeing that it exists in other couples.
however will all that said, being the hopeless romantic that i am, i do have a dream wedding. it’s changed throughout the years, bits and pieces as i grow older and undergo changes in my own lifestyle. so here’s a sneak peak on how i envision my dream wedding…
i used to want a garden wedding during dusk so that my future husband and i say our i do’s by the sunset. this was when i still hated the beach. yes, once when i was younger and i hated getting darker, i did hate the beach. it’s very different now though because i love the beach so much! after i started playing ultimate there really was no point to hate going to the beach anymore as i got darker from playing. plus, it’s so much fun to get drunk at the beach. haha! so now, i dream of a beach wedding. jc gonzalez, bianca gonzalez’s brother (ya, ‘coz you know, i’m so showbiz this way), had a beach wedding and it seemed like lots of fun. i’m actually attending a beach wedding next year and i can’t wait to take pictures there! haha!
the vows
i’ve always joked that i wanted a broadway type wedding where my groom and i will be singing our marriage vows. when lea salonga sang her vows in her own wedding, i wanted it even more. now, all i need to do is find a groom who can sing.
here’s the concert version of the song:
i couldn’t find the youtube video footage of the wedding which i could embed but here it is if you want to check it out.
the photographs
as i’ve mentioned before, i really love tumblr. i’m glad i’ve even got a few of my friends addicted to it too. that’s where i discovered this photographer couple whose photos i really love. i secretly want to fly them over to anywhere i’m getting married so that they can take my wedding pictures. i love the fact that they added me as a contact on flickr too. i like this other photographer couple, too. in the local scene, redsheepphotography takes pretty amazing pictures. yeah, i think i’m spending too much time checking out wedding photography online. but it’s really fun to look at wedding pictures. everyone looks so happy, it truly is a celebration of love.
despite the fact that brad pitt and jennifer aniston have gotten divorced, this remains to be one of my favorite wedding pictures ever.
the groom
<pic to follow>
i was actually planning to post a pic of some hot celebrity i fantasize about marrying. but then as i was googling different crushes of mine, i realized that i never really imagined marrying any of them. yep, it’s true! unlike some other girls, specifically those stalking rpatzz (rob pattinson) everywhere, i can differentiate between fantasy and reality. and for some weird reason, i’ve never imagined myself married to a celebrity. hahahaha! so i guess this part of my dream wedding will have to wait.
the passage
i’m re-readingThe Time Traveler’s Wiferight now so that my memory will be refreshed before the movie comes out. it’s a beautiful book so read it if you haven’t yet. this quote, which is actually fromPossession but is quoted in the book, really made me an impression on me…
“What is it? My dear?”
“Ah, how can we bear it?”
“Bear what?”
“This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?”
“We can be quiet together, and pretend – since it is only the beginning – that we have all the time in the world.”
“And every day we shall have less. And then none.”
“Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?”
“No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere.” ~ A.S. Byatt, Possession
during my recent daydreams, i’ve been writing my wedding vows in my head. this is a bit embarrassing to admit but given the number of weddings i have to attend within the next couple of years, you have to cut me some slack. anyway, somehow the fact that i’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment (of getting married) makes it’s way into the vows. and as i read this quote in the book i had to pause and think. that last paragraph is beautiful. it may not seem like a marriage vow but i think it’s absolutely lovely. if ever i end up not singing my vow, i’d like to read this paragraph as part of my vow because i know that’s how it’ll feel… as though my life would’ve started from the moment i say i do.
well, i really hope it doesn’t or else i’m definitely f*cked.
bad luck moment #1 a.k.a. ms. klutz yet again!
three weeks ago i sprained my right ankle during ultimate training in legaspi park. i already know i can be pretty klutzy without even trying but i haven’t been injured since i started playing ultimate frisbee. my mom was so concerned when i started playing ultimate that she told me during one conversation that i should be careful when i play because i have a tendency to trip on myself even while walking. i once sprained my ankle while getting out of a cab in front of our gate.
but as i was saying, i haven’t been injured in quite a while. i’ve suffered a few spills while playing ultimate, got shin splints by wearing cleats on hard ground but so far i’ve had a pretty clean slate on the injury aspect. my right kneecap was dislcoated prior to my sports debut, during an intense game of pop your opponents balloon during college. stupid parlor game!
while i would prefer that you think that i was sprinting or jumping or attempting to do a layout to catch a disc, i really didn’t sprain my ankle that way. i had just finished a drill and was walking back to the line when i stepped over a pretty big hole. i heard a crack and found myself lying down on the grass. for a moment i thought i broke my ankle ‘coz the pain was pretty unbearable. i spent the next 4 days at home with my foot elevated, alternating hot and cold compress therapy. by the 4th day, my ankle wasn’t as swollen as it was previously and i could walk with minimal pain so i decided to go ahead and play on sunday. i got through, but looking back now i think it was just the painkillers i drank earlier that day. the 2nd sunday i played on it was bad because i twisted it again. now it’s still swollen and hurts when i run on it or wear high heels. argh, hassle talaga! i’ll have to get this checked up because it may be something else. hopefully it isn’t though.
bad luck moment #2 a.k.a. ewww… i don’t want to make swimming in the baha!
i attended today’s games in ACC but didn’t play because of my bad ankle. actually i could’ve drank painkillers and played but due to a last-minute gimmick last night, nina & i ended up sleeping over at joy’s condo. i wasn’t able to go home to get my ultimate gear anymore. good thing i left some clothes over at joy’s condo which i was able to wear earlier today.
it was a hot, humid day but it started raining at about 2pm. we were having late lunch at congo grill west gate then. we left at around 4pm. i hitched a ride with pia and was at manila by around 5pm. i then took a cab to my place. it’s normally just a 30-min ride from pia’s house to my house but it took me about 2.5 hours today.
there were flooded areas everywhere! and when i say flooded, i mean water-above-the-knees flooded. this isn’t the first time i got stuck in a flood. back in september 2006, i actually walked from south super highway to my office in the island in the middle of the road because the flood water was that high. this time, floodwater was already seeping into the floor of the cab. we tried different routes to get to my place but we kept encountering high floodwater everytime. it was pretty harrowing. all i could do was close my eyes and pray that the car won’t stall in the middle of it all.
<insert phone pics> (i took some pics on my phone but i’m too sleepy to post them tonight. perhaps tomorrow.)
i was actually considering walking from marcelo st to my place in the rain but i decided against it because: (1) i didn’t have an umbrella; (2) i was wearing a lowcut green dress; (3) i had some of my favorite film cameras with me; and (4) it would be really gross to walk about 25 blocks in knee high, dirty floodwater. i was really lucky that i got a really nice cab driver. he was more concerned in getting me home than the damage the floodwater was doing to his car. the restaurants of banawe were such a welcome sight to me. i breathed a big sigh of relief when we finally got my street.
i’m so thankful that my cab driver was great. i’m sure a lot of cab drivers would’ve let me go down instead of take me home. needless to say, i tipped him a riduculous amount of money. i really do hope he got home safely.
it stopped raining already so that means i’ll have to go to the office tomorrow instead of working from home. hassle! i really hope i don’t get sick after today’s quite unexpected adventure.
oh no, there’s another one!?!
they do say that bad luck comes in threes, and i’m so not looking forward to finding out if it’s true. a badly sprained ankle, getting stuck for 2 hours in floodwater, being single since birth, what else can the universe throw at me? okay, okay, so i just added the last one because i added the first of a series of friends’ weddings coming up in the next few months. waah, hopefully bad luck moment #3 is not going to be so bad. it wouldn’t be so bad if good luck comes my way next, too! hahaha!
as i watch Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan hold hands during the last scene in Sleepless in Seattle, i can’t help but sigh and wonder, when is it going to be my turn? (cue background music: oh tell me where? / where is that someone who will turn and look at me / and want to share my every sweet imagined possibility? [A Piece of Sky, Yentl]) i would be lying if i said that the thought of ending up alone doesn’t scare the crap out of me because it really does.
breaking up is hard to do
during the past couple of days, i’ve been consoling a friend who is coming to terms with the finality of her break-up. she and her ex-boyfriend called it quits more than a year ago but maintained a good friendship. we know how tricky that could be, right? to make a long story short, he has moved on while she has not. and of course, she’s devastated.
having had my heart broken before, i know how much it can hurt. as i listened to her tell her story while having cocktails in a crowded bar, memories of the pain i once felt came flooding back. it was a struggle to maintain my composure when she started crying. there is so much i wish i could do to help her forget the pain but i know there really is nothing i can do but be there for her. she kept on apologizing on being such a downer but i told her that my friends kept me sane during my dark hours and that meant everything to me.
it truly is hard to imagine how a person can move on after such a devastating loss but as i’ve learned, and i’m sure most of you have learned too, we all move on. it’s just the way it is. it truly is sad to think that a relationship ends and each person eventually finds someone else to be with but that’s the natural way of things. life goes on.
where are the boys at?
seriously, nasaan sila? hahahaha!
my mom has already told me that maybe i should try a different sport since it seems that i haven’t met anyone in ultimate during the 3-4 years i’ve been playing it. to this, i answered that i play ultimate because i enjoy the game and the company of all my friends and not to meet potential partners. i found it funny though that my mom had to tell me that.
i once hoped i’d find love in the workplace but that didn’t work out so there goes another option.
i don’t think i’ll find a “good” guy in any of my gimiks either. let’s face it, guys in bars are mostly hoping to score and aren’t really looking for long term relationships. while this can be fun once in a while, it’s not really fulfilling at all. i go out to party more to enjoy the company of my friends rather than get picked up by guys.
so once again i have to ask, where are all the good guys at? can anyone out there help me out? hahahaha!
hope springs eternal
there is a book that has been catching my eye for a good number of years now, When God Writes Your Love Story. having read both I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl, i have a pretty good idea what that book may contain. whether or not you believe in a God is a personal preference. but i love the thought that i am a love story waiting to happen.
tv shows such as Sex and the City and Ally McBeal deal with the struggle modern women face with juggling a career and a lovelife. i love how both shows have dealt with the wacky situations single gals can get themselves into. but what i love most is the fact that no matter how many scrapes the characters in each of the shows get themselves into, they never stopped believing that true love was out there for them.
it’s important that we keep believing that love is out there for us, no matter how bad things may seem.
i’d like to leave you guys with one of my favorite quotes from Rilke. i have to confess that i was just reminded of it tonight while i was checking my blog for past entries.
“believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” ~ an exerpt from Letter 4 of Letters to a Young Poet by Rainier Maria Rilke
That’s the closest to my idea of love: watching the skyline, making out, making mistakes, making believe desire means it’s with somebody else, then breaking up, and, if we’re lucky, forgiveness that comes right before take-off. There, I’ve said it. What more can one want? A lover who loves me as much as the rain. Rain, and, from the opening credits to the closing heart, Gershwin. ~ The Muse This Time by R Zamora Linmark
i love
...broadway;
...poetry;
...ultimate frisbee;
...dancing;
...singing;
...the melancholic sound of the cello;
...playing the piano;
...Frederic Chopin, John Williams and Michael Legrand;
...the rain;
...walking in the rain;
...laughing;
...hanging out with my friends;
...being a girly-girl;
...wearing dresses;
...my naturally wavy hair;
...the sound of waves crashing in the shore;
...pizza and pasta;
...burgers;
...raisin bread;
...blogging;
...reading;
...Cyrano de Bergarac;
...shopping;
...Artic Vodka Melon;
...Jose Cuervo Tequila;
...my lomo cameras;
...taking pictures;
...puzzles;
...sudoku;
...chick flicks that make you believe that finding your one true love is not so impossible; and
...heartwrenchingly beautiful songs that say otherwise
on happier news, my hula-hoop arrived already so i have an alternative method of exercise already. i’m already pretty good with waist hooping and i’m getting the hang of hip hooping already. it’s pretty exciting actually and i really want to learn as many moves as i can. at least i still have some semblance of physical activity.
that’s where i discovered 
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