i almost completely forgot about my little project of counting down my first loves. i already did poetry way back on October 2007. yes, i’ve sadly neglected this. 😦 i’ll try to do one every two weeks till i finish my list. 🙂

next on my list is the first song i fell-in-love with. as with my poetry choice, i’m sure i’ve heard quite a few songs before hearing this song, but this is the first song i really really loved.

i first heard this song in my grandfather’s Les Miserables cd which i listened to over and over again. this was way, way before Joey Potter (played by Katie Holmes) sang ruined it on Dawson’s Creek. (joey chose pacey over dawson so i forgave her for this.) 😛 i remember this being the cd i’d play before going to sleep.

when i was younger, i loved Eponine’s character because of the songs she got to sing… On My Own, A Little Fall of Rain and her interjections in the Love Montage (I Saw Him Once/A Heart Full of Love). her character is just so tragic. imagine being in-love with your guy bestfriend and having to watch him fall-in-love with a girl you introduced him to. *ouch!* right? how was i supposed to know that this would become my anthem when i finally fell-in-love? :)) this song took a whole new meaning when i was finally able to empathize as a girl in-love with a guy who could only saw her as a friend.

this is the song my friends associate with me the most. i even did a report on blaise pascal in the tune of this song. i think it went something like… blaise pascal was a mathematician and so on and so forth. i hope you get the idea because i don’t remember it anymore. :))

anyway, i love this song and i’ll love this song even if i finally get to taste requited love. 😉

On My Own

And now I’m all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend
without a face to say hello to
But now the night is near
And I can make-believe he’s here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I’m happy
With the company I’m keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he’s beside me
All alone
I walk with him ’til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me

In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it’s only in my mind
That I’m talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there’s a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river’s just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I’m lonely
All my life I’ve only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him…
But only on my own…