so i’m not faithful with my updates anymore. i start typing them but do not have the time to finish or followup on them sometimes. :S

last sunday was day 1 of the summer league. my team, TODA, is seeded in pool A for the first set of round robin games. all i can say is… waaaaaah!!!!!! so much pressure! i’m one of the main handlers of the team so it’s a bit scary playing in pool A. since i changed my forehand grip, my forehand throws haven’t been the most accurate. then there are the nerves that come with a pressured game. :S i’m beginning to regret voting that we play for pool A. shet!

here are some of the highlights of last sunday for me:

1. being sponsored by chowking! o, diba?! hehehe.

2. jumping for a disc that was thrown high totally aware that derek was behind me. what a scary experience. shempre, hindi ko nasalo yung disc. i was too scared of getting hit by derek. note to self: must learn to be more aggressive with the disc.

3. my really bad throws. grrr… kakainis! i couldn’t shake off my nerves last sunday. may assist pa nga ako sa isang callahan sa sexual chocolate na game eh! kakahiya!!! feeling ko conscious ako mashado na handler na ako and that i’m playing in pool A and that people are judging me. i’m not good when i feel like i’m being judged with every move i make. next time, i should really just leave the mind game behind and just play the game!

4. being given the opportunity for a good D against marc but not taking it. why? because i was too busy laughing in my head. :)) umaga palang sinabihan na ako nina papi na dapat daw tumatalon ako sa sideline to distract the guys, which i laughed off. kamusta naman noh? siguro ako pa maddistract sa kanila at hindi sila maddistract sa akin. :))

5. something rox and i saw on our way to the girl’s bathroom to change. grabeh! yun lang masasabi ko. basta yun na yun! pm me nalang to ask what. 😉 hehehe.

all in all, sunday was fun but very stressful. i hope my nerves would go away soon because i still have 6 (?) more weeks of the summer league ahead of me.

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i’ve discovered ebay, amazon and online banking!!! holy crap, i’ve bought a lot of stuff already. :S i have films and other lomo stuff arriving next week c/o mimay then i have a yashica 135gn on it’s way from the US. checking ebay has been part of my daily ritual already and i’m scared i’m going to get addicted to shopping online. oh well… once a shopaholic, always a shopaholic! :))

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this got me into trouble the last time but i don’t care, it must be said…

dear you,

when does love turn into hate? when does concern turn into apathy? perhaps when you purposefully slap away the hand i’m offering to you, that’s when it happens. seriously, what is wrong with you? it’s one thing to avoid me and it’s another to give me the cold shoulder. the former is understandable but i do not deserve the latter. you hurt me really badly and you only apologized when you realized that your previous actions towards me prevented you from getting what you want now. such a selfish reason, but that’s you right? the self-professed selfish guy!

i don’t get why you’re doing this to me. me, who has defended you and understood you throughout our entire affair. me, who despite everything that has happened, is still offering you my hand in friendship. why slap it away? perhaps you think this is the only way to stop me from hurting more. news flash: you couldn’t hurt me any more than what you did to me before. but i’ve forgiven you for that already. i don’t see whay you must be cold to me, i really don’t. if your goal is to make me start hating you so that my feelings would stop, well then, you are succeeding.