still sober on day15. 😉 yes, i’m halfway through na! yey!

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my room still looks like a typhoon ravaged it’s way across it. hehehe. still not done with my spring cleaning, not even close! i think i spent most of the break buying new stuff than actually cleaning my room. i’ve bought 2 shelves, 2 box containers and a shoe cabinet. but i’m not done getting rid of my clutter yet. i did realize something though, i have a problem letting go of stuff. there are some things that i know i should be getting rid of that i still want to keep. but i’ve let go of some already like most of the college notes i’ve kept despite the fact that no one is really going to use them after me. 😀 i’ve also put away 8 pairs of shoes, 6 bags and a big plastic of clothes. i’m not halfway done yet. :S oh gosh, sabi ko pa naman dapat tapos na ito after this weekend. oh well… more cleaning for me in the days to come. :))

my room is a bit like my life right now, really messy but about to get a good, clean makeover. 😉

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i found my old diary which i started in 1998. it was funny reading the entries mostly related to anton. i even wrote again in 2005 on how i still missed anton sometimes. hehehe. all i could think of when i was reading my old entries was how naive i was and how different my concept of love and pain was before. a lot has changed since 1998. i’ve changed quite a bit since then. (understatement of the year? hehehe)

i wonder, do all of us feel this nostalgic when we look at old pictures and read old diary entries? yes, i think we all are. i think a part of me was saying to my old self… oh my dear, if you only knew what the future had in store for you. well, i think that still applies to me right now. i honestly keep on thinking, how many more heartbreaks do i have to go through before i finally find my other half? how many more frogs do i have to kiss before i find my prince charming? and to be fair… how many more hearts will i have to break, too?

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i haven’t seen an episode of grey’s anatomy in quite a while. when i was channel surfing yesterday and saw that an episode i haven’t seen was showing, i ended up watching it. most of us who watch grey’s anatomy know how complicated and intertwined their lives are, right? well, i found myself relating to it and not in the empathic, oh! it must suck to be in that situation! way, but the omg! ako yan ngayon! way. i honestly never thought i’d get myself stuck in this mess. well, i don’t think anyone really plans for things like this to happen. they just happen.

you know you’ve entered into melodrama when you re-enact a scene from any famous chickflick film. mine happened to be the chase scene from my best friend’s wedding. i swear, if i wasn’t hurting so much, i could’ve burst out into uncontrollable laughter at the point i realized what was happening. later on, that fated evening, i kinda re-enacted my favorite scene from closer. i swear, if i kissed him, that would have been it!

*sigh*

meredith said it best i think (and yes, this is a repost!):

The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.