i just finished reading reunion by alan lightman, which i liked a bit more than einstein’s dreams, maybe because the lead character reminded me of someone. 😉 anyway, it really got me thinking about the nature of love.

Unconditional love. That’s what he wants to give her and what he wants from her. People should give without wanting anything in return. All other giving is selfish. But he is being selfish a little, isn’t he, by wanting her to love him in return? He hopes that she loves him in return. Is it possible for a person to love without wanting love back? Is anything so pure? Or is love, by its nature, a reciprocity, like oceans and clouds, an evaporating of seawater and a replenishing of rain?

does love really need to be reciprocated for it to be considered as love? as a firm believer and a suki of unrequited love, i’d say hell no! for me, love should really be devoid of selfishness. yes, i do believe that people are by nature selfish. i think it can be called self-preservation. but to put aside your own needs and wants for someone else and to put them before you, that for me is love. and this applies to all kinds of love, not just romantic love. say, for example, a friend of yours hates eating japanese food but you love it. everytime you’re together, you purposefully don’t choose a japanese restaurant. yes, it can seem shallow but it isn’t. if you count every selfless deed you’ve done for someone you care for, it could amount to a whole lot. 😉

this is somewhat the reverse to an excerpt i loved from norwegian wood by haruki murakami…


“Waiting for the perfect love?”

“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”

“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.

“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are times in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”

“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”

“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. ‘Now I see, Midori. What a fool I’ve been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?’”

“So then what”

“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”

“Sounds crazy to me.”

“Well, to me, that’s what love is. Not that anyone can understand me, though.” Midori gave her head a little shake against my shoulder. “For a certain kind of person, love begins from something tiny or silly. From something like that or it doesn’t begin at all.”

i loved this idea too. you see, i too want that perfect selfishness. someone who would love me this unconditionally.

i think this is where the beauty of a reciprocated love comes in. when love is reciprocated, a compromise is struck. moments of each other’s selfishness and selflessness alternate to weave a strong bond.

do i make sense at all?

hmm… i guess, i’m thinking too much on this. reading this book and that passage just really stuck with me. especially since i’ve already commented on how much i loved the idea of perfect selfishness before.

hmmm… enough thinking for now. 😀