it feels good to be home.

i’m in davao!!! weeee!!! i’ll bring your suha, mangosteen and durian requests when i get back.

camera therapy

despite the promise to myself that i wouldn’t buy any new cameras, i ended up buying a fisheye2 and ringflash. naka-promo package kasi eh. ;)) yeah, what an excuse noh?! i’m making another promise. no more camera buying unless it’s an LCA. promise, i’ll really save for this na! anyway, i’m really happy that the ringflash has an adaptor for the diana. now, i can use diana even at night. so excited!

here’s the stash of cameras i brought home:

cameras-i-brought-home.jpg

MeRrY cHrIsTmAs!

christmas has always been a lonely experience for me. yeah yeah, i know i have family and friends but having been single since birth, i’m still yet to experience a christmas with that special someone. this christmas is turning out to be one of the hardest so far as i’m smack in the middle of mending a broken heart.

yes, pathetic as it may sound, i still find myself crying at random moments in the day. it’s okay though, no one dies from a broken heart and whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. no matter how many you’ll-be-okay’s, he-doesn’t-deserve-you’s, and what not i receive, it still doesn’t take the pain out of rejection.

i wrote him a letter telling him how i felt. i gave it to him when he brought me home, thursday night. i was so tired that i fell asleep as soon as i got in my room. he tried to call me minutes later which meant that he had already read my letter. but then, i was asleep so i didn’t get to answer the phone. so far, he hasn’t tried to talk to me about it yet. so i guess, that’s that.

what a way to celebrate christmas, right?! good thing, the new year is around the corner. 😀

i know an “us” is highly unlikely but i think you ought to know that i really do care for you, perhaps a bit more than i should. at times, i wish things could have happened differently but you were a choice i was destined to make, a risk i was supposed to take and a lesson i eventually had to learn.

you’re probably wondering where i’m leading to with this. well… i’d like for us to stop. i can’t deny it anymore, i honestly am getting emotionally attached. and it’s getting harder to be around you. i’m so scared someone else will start noticing how i feel. i’m scared you’ll notice it. (well, now you know.)

don’t feel guilty. i knew what our “arrangement” was. no strings attached. i’m not mad or bitter that you don’t feel the same way towards me. no matter how much you want to, you can’t change how someone else feels about you. sad but true.

what we had was fun while it lasted. you opened up a whole new world to me. now, whether that’s good or bad is still debatable. but i’ll never forget you, that’s for sure. =)