after crying my eyes out saturday night and sunday morning, i think i’m all dried up. i don’t want to cry anymore and definitely not over him. i have to focus on healing my soul. i feel so broken right now. so hurt. so shattered.

weird thing is i was already expecting this kind of pain. i knew it was inevitable. but God, it hurts. and i didn’t think it’ll hurt this hard again.

once again i’m turning to poetry and music to make me feel better.

Comes the Dawn
by Virginia Shopstall

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn’t mean possession
and company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn…with every goodbye you learn.

those last four lines are a comfort to me right now. i know i will be able to get through the pain, but somehow hearing affirmations such as these really helps.

singing this song aloud helps… hehehe. buti walang tao dito sa office and pwede ako kumanta out loud! 😀

i was the last to know
you knew exactly what you would do
don’t say you simply lost your way
they may believe you but i never will
never again.
~ never again by kelly clarkson