i just learned that one of my best friends from davao is getting married in october. and i had this sudden epiphany that i’m secretly in love with her and now i know that i have to stop that wedding from occuring! oh wait, that’s a movie plot. hehehe. seriously though, i wanted to start crying in the lrt this morning when i found out. a part of me still wants to cry but i’m at the office so bawling my eyes out in my workstation is not really an option for now.

i think all shocking news should be received while sitting down. i got the news this morning while on my commute to work. imagine me, staring into space, shocked. then when the news started setting in i wanted to start crying but couldn’t because of all the people around me.

i was bombarded with a mix of emotions this morning. happiness, because one of my best friends has found someone she could spend her lifetime with. sadness, because now she’d be married! wonder, that she has found ever-elusive love. excitement, because i get to take wedding pictures when i get to davao. and jealousy, because it isn’t me who is getting married.

yes, i’m gonna start another diatribe on how pathetic my lovelife is!!!

i want a guy who’ll cry at our wedding, too overwhelmed with the emotions he has for me. is that too much to ask? why am i still alone?! i’ve wanted to be in a relationship since i was young. i knew early on that all i ever wanted in life was a family. all i wanted to be was a housewife, a full-time mom to 4 kids. and now, at 23, i’m still single! i’m really scared of ending up alone. of not finding my better half. maybe my problem is that i’m looking for it too much. but actually, i’m not really looking. i’m waiting for it. waiting patiently. okay, maybe not so patiently. but i am waiting. and i believe. i believe he’s out there. i believe someday i’ll find a love that’s perfect in every way.

but for now, all i can do is be happy for those who’ve already found it.


*secret pa raw kasi na ikakasal siya kaya wala munang name. baka ma-buking. 😀